New Life. New Environment.

It has been more than two months now since I left my hometown. I miss my family and friends that I have there. I miss the place itself. Maybe I am just used to the life that I have in my hometown. There are lot of things that I miss doing back in Zamboanga. I miss my Mom and my sister.

I am not yet used to my life that I have now. Everything seems to be monotonous. I keep on doing the same thing every day. Hahaha! So far so good, I am happy where I am now and with the people I am with. They are nice and humble. Astig!

I’m running out of words now. I don’t know what to say anymore. Perhaps I’ll just post another entry next time. Hehe!

God bless everyone!

New Beginnings!

“All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye”

From this day forward, I’m gonna have a new life, new beginning and new environment. I’ll be leaving for Manila. I’ll be working there and I hope everything would be okay. This would be the very first time I would be separated with my family for  a long time. I feel sadness. I don’t want to leave them especially my Mom. But, I’ll be holding on to my promise that it’s time for me to return the favor to my family especially my Mom and Sister, who have been so supportive with me. I’m glad that both of them are still with me – alive.

I know the first few weeks in Manila would be very tough for me  – both physically and mentally, because I’ve been so dependent with my family for my whole life. But somehow, I thank them for teaching me how to do household chores. I’ve been wanting to learn how to be independent and I guess, this is already the opportunity for me how to learn that.

I have realized that in life, we have to choose and make decisions and in every decisions, we need to make sacrifices. So this is what I am doing now, I have to sacrifice being away with my family because of the choice I made. I want my family to be proud of me – especially  my Mom, Dad and Sister.

To God be the Glory! Have a nice day!

Should I Let You Go?

Babe,

Lately all I do is think and think and think. Sometimes I am thinking about my options. Choices that are hard for me to choose which, more so harder for me to have thought about them.

Everyday seems like a battle for me. A battle to stay sane, reasonable and fair. Though the circumstances that have befallen upon us seemed unfair and difficult, I still managed to justify things in the hope that you are now genuine towards me, towards your feelings, towards US.

I think it is about time that you know my thoughts, things that are hard for me to verbalize because I am not the kind of person who can clearly put into words my thoughts and my feelings. I wanted to be fair with you even if i don’t get the same treatment from you.

After everything we’ve gone through, everything that transpired, I came to ask myself, is it worth it? Is our relationship worth fighting for? I might have told you this before, but love is never enough. It is a hard realization but the events made this easier for me to grasp its gravity. I have loved you since the very first day I comitted myself to you. I still love you, it may be hard for me to say this, but i believe you deserve to know, I think I don’t love you that much anymore. The excitement of being with you has faded. Before, everyday, I am always looking forward to be with you, you don’t know how much happiness this has brought me. I rush out of the school after the clock hits the time for me to go home. I couldn’t wait to see you. But now, it seems like the excitement and zealousness dissipated. Sometimes I drag myself to go home.

I have a confession to make. I believe you deserve to know. I met someone online who is interesting. I saw some traits that I long for in a partner. We share the same views and interests. That person knows about you though. Don’t get me wrong, but our relationship is merely that of friends. You made me realize, it would’ve been better if we started out as friends. We have never met personally. There have been a lot of occasions that he asked that we meet, just to talk, have coffee. Even invited me to go on trips. But I did not relent. For this, I am sorry. I am committed to be that faithful partner to you.

In all fairness to you, I have been thankful that I met you. You made me realize dreams i thought would just remain to be dreams. We have our happy moments, for sure. I love how we laugh together over trivial stuff. I love how i feel your warm breath on my nape.

But now, I realized I am not enough for you. You have needs and wants and priorities that I cannot compensate for. I realized how we are not really compatible. How our interests differ from each other. What if after a few years or months from now you will meet another “me”, another person. This is not impossible to happen, there’s no assurance and I can’t bear just the thought of it.

You might be wondering why I’m telling you this. But cliche as it may sound, i just wanted to get this off my chest. I don’t know what will happen to us from now on. I don’t even know if i still wish for the best.

Congratulations!

Before anything else, I would like to congratulate all my of my fellow graduates of Batch 2009. Finally, our years of journey has come to an end. Let us all say HELLO to the world of unemployment! Haha! Are you ready to face the ratrace?

To all the graduates, goodluck to all of us and may God bless us all! Again, congratulations!

A Very Special Love

Love changed me. From the way I act to the way I decide. Sometimes, I even go against my principles and beliefs in life. Loving does not mean I’ll always be happy. The only thing that can make me completely happy is contentment. What is love in the first place? They say, it is when you find someone who didn’t meet any of your standards yet you say that you have found the right one. You don’t have to commit yourself when you’re in love with someone. Sometimes, you just have to be satisfied with whatever connection you have with that special one.

Would you believe me if I say that I wrote this entry for the one I love most? Well, it might not be as well-written and striking like the other entries. But you know, you cannot write about love if you’re not in love or if you have never been in love. But for the one I love most, I can write this entry so effortlessly.

I want to thank “YOU” for the things you did and for your indulgent. Thank your for the promise that your heart will always be close to mine. You are someone who has no boundary of time when I don’t have vigor to go forward. Let’s come to think of this and look at all we could miss, I can’t let this happen, ‘coz it’s you that I’ll always love! If I told you I love you, would you love me back? I could never really love someone else but you and I have never wanted anything else, just only you!

I’m so blissful to have you by my side, now I know what a saccharine life is. Do you feel like I feel? Everyday without you is being without any meaning. You might have heard hundreds of thousands of love entries. They might be significant but their meanings are for anyone. But this, it is written only for you. If you comprehend its meaning, our hearts will be mutually forever.

There are so many truths in love. In the past, I spent too much moment looking for the gist of it. But I know that every time you are near, that if our lives are a quantity of music, then you are the libretto that composes my life meaningful and in concert we make beautiful harmony. Every time I feel your love shining in my heart, I can perceive my destiny.

I can perceive no paths that can guide me forward in darkness with my abandoned heart, without your heart near mine. The night can be so very long when I can witness no brightness from the firmament. The more I gaze around, the more I become anxious of the night that has yet to pass. Is there any other way to go?

I know the sun will stand out tomorrow. For as long as I know that there is tomorrow, there’s hope and I have a lifetime in loving you.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Just MAYBE!

This would be my pre-valentine post. I’m still composing my entry for the valentine’s day. But for now, I just want to share some quotes that has something to do with love. I got this from my inbox. Enjoy & Reflect!

Maybe. . we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don’t even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe . . . it is true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe . . . the happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can’t go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe . . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone — a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child — so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

Maybe . . you should always try to put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn’t, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe . . . you shouldn’t go for looks; they can deceive; don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Petty Pride!

In life, I learned one particular thing that always remind me of the fact that the world is occupied by two persons only. People who act true infront of me and people who remain true behind my back. Be very careful to every person you thought you can trust on, because they might also be the person who silently pull you down when you are not around. It’s easy to judge, but it hurts to be judged.

Recently, someone is avoiding me. I just don’t know why and I really have no idea. It makes me wonder if I did something wrong. But, as far as I know, I did nothing wrong. If he has a problem with me, why don’t he just tell it to me so that I will be aware. It sucks! Bigtime! On the other hand, if he chooses not to tell it to me. Then, it’s time to move on. There’s no reason for me to stick in this kind of petty things. This is too childish!

It is really hard to have a misunderstanding with a person who has too much pride for himself. No matter how you approach that person, he’s not going to mind you. It is really hard to deal with them! You need to adjust with their environment and they tend to be dominant. Oh well, that’s them and we have to deal with it in any way we can.

One liner: “No one ever choked to death swallowing his pride”

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Year of the Ox starts officially today and we start to wonder what will happen to us this year. We should always expect the unexpected and be ready for all the things that will going to happen. We should be prepared so that when we fail, we know how to bounce back. We should also thank God for all the blessings, guidance and strengths that He has given us.

Exactly 28 days from now is our graduation day! I am hoping that I would be able to make it! I’m done with my portfolio presentation. All I need to do is to change some of the things that the judges asked me to revise. After doing my revisions, I hope there’s nothing to worry anymore.

Last Monday, the office of the registrar already posted the list of candidates for graduation. Unfortunately, my name was not included in the list. I don’t have a grade in my CS322 and Research 101 class. I think, our grades in our research class was long overdue. The deadline for the submission of revisions for our research was last November 2008. Until now, there are still some who haven’t submitted their revisions. As far as I am concerned, all of us signed in a paper stating that if we were not able to submit our revisions on the said date, we are going to have a failing mark. But since, those people who submitted their revisions long overdue are graduating students, the deadline was extended. But still, some are not giving any effort. They should have a failing mark. Oh well, that’s life!

It takes TWO to Tango!

As they say, it takes TWO to tango. With that, I am proud to say that LUCKWATCHERO is now on its SECOND YEAR in blogging industry. Wooohooo! Year 2008 has been so great! I have been nominated in Philippine Blog Awards 2008 and Digital Filipino Web Awards. Thank you to all the organizers!

I just want to thank all of you who have been following my blog for two years now. I really appreciate your effort to visit my blog and leave some comments. I would also like to thank the people who has been there for me during my ups and downs. I hope I would be able to maintain my blog this year. SmartBro-ken strikes again!

Also, I’ll be very busy on the first quarter of this year. As a senior student, I have to pass requirements for me to be able to graduate on March. By hook or by crook, I am going to graduate on March 28, 2009. If not, blood will going to cripple humanity. Haha!

Year 2009 is the year of the Ox. May you have a productive year! Carpe Diem!

Goodbye 2008, Mabuhay 2009!

The Year 2008 has been like a roller-coaster ride for me. This year is so crucial for me because I’m on my Senior year now in college and everything must fall into places. Anyway, there are some things that I can never forget for the year 2008.

During the 3rd Quarter of this year, a certain blog crippled Ateneo community because of its defamatory stories about students. I was so schocked when I found out that this certain whore of the same course as mine is  telling other people that I am the one behind this controversial blog. That is so pathetic!

There’s also this one person who is always assuming. We used to hang-out in this certain place and suddenly after a month or two, we’ve decided to change our place to hang-out. This person asks one of our friends why we decided to change, was it because they are also there? Haha! Pathetic!

Our first semester was like “Hell Hath No Fury Over a Woman Scorn!”. Thanks God our second semester feels like we’re in Cloud Nine! Whoo!

There are still many things that I would like to include in this entry. But I guess, there are things better left unsaid. Haha!

It’s the last day of the year 2008 and a few hours from now, we are going to welcome 2009! It’s time for us to change things and move on! Happy New Year guys!