I can still remember the day when I let you know about my feelings. It was something done at the spur of the moment, for it seemed like the right thing to do. I believed that feeling as wonderful and that need not to be kept. As I gathered my courage and thought of the right words, it happened. I had said it. In that brief instant, I had dared to take the risk of a crucial revelation. As much as I dreaded it, I had to remember that one careless confession has put my heart on the line.
I want to see your smile for the last time – the smile that I usually enjoy watching and made me so happy, that you always give when you are always loss for word and you always give when I would ask something. The answer would never come. One smile and the question are lost to oblivion.
I would never forget our last night together and our final glances – the glances that answered a thousand of my questions. Under the warmth of your embrace and the comforting scent of your presence, we witnessed a falling star, a wishing star. It’s about time, I said. It’s time to let you go. I always hoped and prayed with all my heart and soul for time to stand still so that I could spend forever in your embrace. But that moment of tranquillity, I realized that your heart was no wish a star could ever grant. I silently dried my tears against your chest as you pressed your lips into my hair and hugged me tight.
I will never forget all the words you said, all the things you did and all the feelings I felt. No matter how I try to undo everything, this is my inescapable reality. I never thought I would allow myself to fall for someone in the middle of another relationship, much less because I promised that I wouldn’t allow myself to fall. Yet it happened, and I was rendered powerless. But now, I am reminded of the actual state of things and what I have to do. I am reminded that even if I hurt myself in the process, I have to move on. Put all the feelings that I have behind.
I know that moving on is one of the hardest things to do especially if it is against the will of one’s mind and heart. Thus, I know someday, I’ll learn to forget you, and how it felt almost having you. Maybe someday you’ll forget me as well and the beauty of the smiles, glances, touches and words that we once shared.
Remember the day when you to told me to keep it secret and sacred? I did. It will always be. It should be. Much has been said. Much has been done. Love was never meant to be ours. You will never be mine. You could never be mine to keep. Never was, never will be.